Maybe—– This time—– He’ll use—– Duck tape!
I—– Don’t—– Want to be—– Misunderstood.
Pardon me! —–Aim—– Watching—–My Own—– Private TV!
This is—– My—– Masterpiece—– I give it—– To you.
For me—– It’s different —–Each—– Time!
Don’t laugh—– It could be—– You—– Next time.
Then —–What —–Would—– You —–Do?
It happens—– Everyday—–On the radio—– The TV News.
For it —– Was—– Gods wish—– For me.
It’s—– What —–He’s given—– To me.
In dreams ——I—– Have someone—– I thought—– I knew
I think—– He must—– Really—– Hate me.
As For—– He —–Rapes—– And kills me.
I told you—–Little pieces—–In my—– Poems
It’s strange—– at night —–or day—– when you sleep—– where your mind —–will go.
As This—– my last—– literature chance—– I will ever—– Do!
I tell—— The whole—– And last—– Blow.
I—– Put it—– All —–together——I want you—– To know—– It’s all true.
It’s a tale—– Stranger then fiction—– But its all—– True
I Have—– A friend—– I thought—– I knew
For I Was—– Sexually assaulted —–At work—–By a man– We thought—– We knew.
No one—– In five years—– Ever knew—– The evil—– This man—– Could do.
And all—– The others—– He told me of—– That he confessed—– To.
It’s odd— To have something—- Keep playing—- Inside my head
It would be—– A—– best seller
If I—– Could—– Put it—– All together-
Maybe—– After I—– Put myself —–Back together.
Even—– Now—– It’s—– Hard—– To believe.
I—– Fours years—– it has been —–Is it just—– One huge—– Bad dream?
It happened—– More than once —–To me
It took some time—– For my mind—– To remember—–The second time.
All the details —–You—– Don’t have to—– Know-
But of the twist of fate—– I thought—– You—– Should know.
For the darkness—– That I—– Have wrote about,
All—– The people—– Who—– Found out.
For I—– Would never—– Want to—– Be rape
I —–Want—– You—– To know
To be killed—– Each time—– In a new —–And different way
Maybe—– It will happen—– Today—— I never can say
For I have to look at- Almost everyday- The man who rapes- And wants to kill me.
It’s very disturbing—– when this happens.
Its so real- There’s no difference – It really happened
I feel him inside of me -until I awake—– and see no blood
It’s the same -As if-It really happened.
For all of you –Out there- Please pardon me -As- Aim- Still- Watching- My private- TV.
For all of you out there—– At night —–I say a little pray
As I saw the devil not so long ago
He was walking the city streets
Like an old whore with no tricks.
Looking- for some one- to poke.
I know what I have
They call it PTSD
For a professional man told me
I have my own private TV
I will elaborate
It plays on and on but different scenes
I wonder—– what’s on to night—– on my—– Private—– TV.
PTSD 99% of the time Aim fine
But that 1 % I have to let out.
I find—– Poetry does me just fine.
Just don’t come up on me—– Fast—– From behind
My poetry is very dark—– I feel I must explain.
Aim not Whining or crying.
Aim just trying to let it out
I try to fix it-All inside my head.
For thousands—– have PTSD
I even find—– that I can multitask
For if Aim to write- maybe in a hundred years -I could be famous
I think of all the people I could help.
As for the two- I thought I knew- As friends
I want nothing to do- With them.
It all part of it- You know!
As he the one I reached out to- But alas- Is just a ass.
Just betrayed me- lied and stole; from me.
And now- Is the monster- In my head
The devil he replaced -forever- I can not erase.
I wonder- what’s playing on TV tonight.
Written By William J Breen Jr